Fretful and Forgetful

It’s Friday! And I have checked out for awhile now. I had an extremely busy day that had some good and not so good parts to it. I won’t say bad times, but not the best. I’m going to get this post up quickly so I can vent and then just veg the rest of the night. I need at least some chill time every day.

I started the day with some light cardio at the gym while putting a big dent in the book I am currently reading. I finished Harlan Coben’s Caught a few days ago (GREAT suspense novel!) and now I am reading James Patterson’s new book The 9th Judgment, which is another good suspense. I’ll try to get some reviews of these up eventually…but in case I don’t, I’ll go ahead and say check them out because they will be worth your time.

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After my workout, I rushed home and took 30 minutes to shower, get myself ready, get M some food packed up, give her a snack, and get some directions for later in the day. It was a mad dash because I had a doctor’s appointment to confirm the pregnancy at 10:45. Unfortunately, I had my first moment of forgetfulness and didn’t grab a snack in the mad dash. Did not help me out later in the day.

Back to the doctor visit. I did the pee in a cup thing for them to try to confirm the pregnancy. Um, nope! It wasn’t showing up on their tests. I had to have blood drawn so they can test that way and I will get the results on Monday. Then, I went back to a room to be observed by the midwife. She told me not to be nervous because it’s still early and just to keep taking my prenatals and taking care of my health. Then she checked me out, told me my uterus is enlarged already (I TOLD you there would be TMI at times ;)) and that things look good. Then they scheduled me for a visit about 2 weeks from now to redo blood work, get an internal ultrasound, and a general workup.

I would be lying if I said the test not showing up positive right away didn’t freak me a little bit. Increasing levels of the HCG hormone during early pregnancy is important and I did have thoughts of “What if mine isn’t increasing? Is this a bad sign? I KNEW I should have kept it to myself!” I laughed at myself on the last one. My mouth wouldn’t have stayed shut if I glued it. Besides, I wouldn’t have the ability to share here if not for sharing early, but that’s besides the point.

For the most part I know the logistics and have faith everything is just fine. I was shocked they wanted to see me this early (about 4 weeks along) and I know that doctor’s test strips often times aren’t as sensitive as some at home pregnancy tests (since most women in an office visit are further along and don’t need the lower sensitivity), which explains mine not showing up yet. I also know there is no such thing as a false positive and the few at home tests I have taken are distinctly positive.

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I know that I am experiencing changes I only experience in pregnancy – easily tired, super sore tatas, BLOATING beyond your wildest imagination, and of course the lack of period. Most importantly though, I also know to trust God. I mean, I just have to think about the past week and all He has done to know that. And I know this isn’t uncommon and was told by the midwife herself not to be concerned. BUT that doesn’t completely get rid of the tiny niggling, fretful feeling that is lurking inside. All I can do is pray and trust, so that is what I’m going to do. Oh, and take another test tomorrow to be sure my tests aren’t changing on me. 😉

Enough about all that. After my doctor appointment I headed out to meet Lindsey for a lunch before she flew out to see her friends in Ohio for a wedding.We were planning to meet at a restaurant close to the airport, but neither of us could find it. We were on the phone with each other both flustered and lost, so we just ended up going to the airport and eating at a restaurant there. We actually had our first meet-up here at Houlihans and it’s sad to think this will be one of our last since she moves back to Ohio soon. This was the most enjoyable part of my day to sit and relax with her. We spent the time talking and eating up the delicious food. Sadly, I had another forgetful moment here and when I went to take pictures of my gorgeous fish tacos I realized I left my memory card at home. 😦 I guess this Google Image search photo will just have to do.

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Although mine had broccoli and it tasted as delicious as it looks. I ate it all. Remember my missed snack? I was h-u-n-g-r-y. Yum! Nothing much has happened since then. I headed home, got stuck in traffic, got M down for a nap, and crashed on the couch, which is where I am now. I guess I need to get into gear to make dinner, get M to bed, and enjoy a movie night with Peter. Thank goodness this weekend isn’t busy!

  • What are your weekend plans?
  • What’s something you have forgotten or fretted about recently? Let’s help each other forget the fretful and not fret over the forgetful. Oh, I’m so wise with my words. 😉 HA!
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19 Responses to Fretful and Forgetful

  1. It sounds like you have a great mindset about all this and about putting your trust in God. That’s amazing! Also I must say I love me some fish tacos. And I almost always forget something at the grocery store!

  2. when i realized i was preg not only did i think there was no way…i actually got my period for 2 days. talk about confusion! which then prompted me to compulsively take preg tests, as in about 3 per day every day for about 2 weeks! ha! the lines got darker and darker but i can totally empathize with what a confusing state that early preg can be!

    and i need downtime, too! omg yes!

  3. Heather says:

    So glad you get some chill time tonight, sounds like you really need it! You have such a great outlook on this. Never TMI 😉

  4. sophia says:

    Oh Tina, it is only natural to still have that tiny twinge of concern. But as you said, it’s this process of learning to trust and pray…that’s what is most important to God. Usually I find that He doesn’t give you what you want RIGHT away…He kinda likes to drag out the process, so that He can give you the opportunity to learn to trust completely in Him. You can’t do that if He instantly answered prayers!

    Anyhoo, you’re awesome in your faith. It can’t be easy, this process of waiting…but you’re handling it mighty gracefully, if I may say so! 🙂

  5. When we eat or drink in food that does not allow them even seem to have stabbed our minds. We just enjoy the food and feel full or empty (still hungry). The second problem is that, enjoy the food you usually eat and eat quickly.

  6. I can imagine how that news would be a little scary, but I definitely think you are doing great by just trusting on God and trying not to think about those little nagging feelings. I will definitely keep you in my prayer. Oh and random but I love James Patterson, all his novels are such great reads!

  7. lessonstolearn says:

    I am confident you are going to get a positive test result when the doctor calls back on Monday. But not getting a positive result the first time would have set me on edge too. I was a wreck for the first trimester and I keep thinking that now, at almost 20 weeks, I shouldn’t be worrying anymore. But I do. Everyday. I guess it comes with being a mom 🙂

  8. homecookedem says:

    That pregnancy test in that picture is one of the most sensitive tests on the market – if I’m not mistaken… so I’m very sure that it’s just more sensitive than your doctor’s tests. You’re fine, I know it. God will take care of you. You know I’m always praying for you!! 🙂

  9. Oh my goodness – I am just now finding out that you might be pregnant! I’ll definitely have to keep you in my prayers…keep us posted!!

  10. I’m glad that you & Lindsey had a great lunch together 🙂
    Good luck with all of the doctor appointments- I know it can be quite stressful at times.

  11. Hey! Just found your blog! Am thinking of you till Monday when you get the “official” preggo result. I’ve been there! We lost two babies before our son was born last Sept. Both were very early on, but I know the feeling of waiting for that blood test result…time moves slowly!

    Looking forward to reading more!

  12. Hmm I have heard that it’s nearly impossible to get a false positive…so maybe a trip to the doc is in order just to get a true result and stop the fretting?

    also your flashback friday made me remember my honeymoon..thank you!!!

  13. weekend plans: working. all day. both days. but i am going to try to bake something tonight 🙂 break up the suckiness of sitting in the office learning about mozambican family law. ouch.

  14. Ameena says:

    I can imagine how nervous you must be…the waiting must seem interminable. I don’t blame you for worrying! I have my fingers crossed that everything will be okay.

    I worry and fret about the big things and the little things. I am a perpetual worrier, hence the gray hair.

  15. SHE-FIT says:

    I’m so glad that I found your blog! I will be praying for your pregnancy and for Monday when you find out the results. Just keep remembering that God is in control.

  16. katie says:

    I totally know what it feels like to ‘wait’ for answers like that.. But keep your eyes on Jesus..and He will keep you in perfect peace because your mind is stayed on HIM! 🙂 I’m excited to hear the news! 🙂

  17. Thank you so much for sharing this! I’m experiencing something lately that is just amazing beyond my wildest dreams, something I thought would NEVER happen and so I’m having a hard time trusting it. I’ve been so nervous about it and have had such anxiety that it’s even been hard for me to enjoy it. And as hard as it is, I know that this happened for a reason and that it’s not just “chance,” and I have to trust it and trust God.

  18. Krystal says:

    On Monday I completely spaced on going to my hair appointment. I NEVER do stuff like that! My stylist is HARD to get into, too! Luckily, she forgave me and got me in on Friday. The sick part is, about an hour before I was supposed to go on Monday, I was standing in my bathroom trying to comb through my hair, which was really ratty and I was thinking to myself “Man, I must have a hair appointment soon. My hair really needs a trim!” If I’d only walked out and checked the calendar.

    DUH!

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